Witnessing Your Growth

Have you ever faced a situation that would’ve triggered you in the past but instead became a moment of clarity, growth, and empowerment? Those moments—where you realize you’ve changed, grown, and made a different choice—are some of the most powerful markers of transformation.

For me, this moment came recently when I volunteered as the treasurer for my child’s school PTA. At first, it felt rewarding: organizing bake sales, connecting with the kids, and contributing to something meaningful. But then, the cracks began to show.

The PTA president had a habit of complaining, projecting negativity, and, ultimately, directing anger at me in a way that took me back to a familiar, painful place. She yelled at me in the school lobby over a misunderstanding. Her tone was filled with anger and disrespect, and she walked away without allowing me to explain or resolve the situation.

The Old Me: People Pleasing as a Survival Skill

Years ago, an encounter like this would’ve shattered me. It would’ve triggered the version of myself that was shaped by a traumatic childhood. When I was a child, my abusive godmother raised me after my mother passed away. She was dismissive, angry, and controlling. When she was upset, I would crumble, internalizing the belief that I wasn’t enough—that I wasn’t smart, capable, or deserving of respect.

My response? People-pleasing. I bent over backward to make her happy again, often at the expense of my own well-being. This pattern carried into adulthood and bled into my career. With toxic bosses who reminded me of my godmother, I would fall into the same cycle of self-sacrifice, tolerating disguised disrespect while trying to prove my worth.

Breaking the Cycle: The Hard Work of Healing

The turning point in my life came when I started working with a trauma therapist who specialized in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Together, we unpacked my past, helping me understand how my childhood experiences shaped my behaviors and responses.

Alongside therapy, I began working with a coach. This partnership was transformative. My therapist helped me process my past, while my coach helped me apply what I learned in real-time. I created actionable plans, developed boundaries, and learned how to recognize my triggers before they derailed me.

One of the most impactful lessons was understanding the power of choice.

• The choice to pause and reflect before reacting.
• The choice to set boundaries that protect my peace.
• The choice to choose myself—even when it feels uncomfortable.

This work wasn’t easy. There were moments I needed to step back and rest. But it was worth it. My awareness grew rapidly, and I learned that responding versus reacting is a skill that builds over time.

The New Me: Choosing Myself Over Disrespect

When the PTA president yelled at me in the school lobby, I recognized the behavior immediately for what it was: disguised disrespect. In the past, I would’ve internalized her anger, questioned what I did wrong, and tried to make her like me again. But this time was different.

I took a moment to reflect on who she had shown herself to be and decided I wasn’t going to tolerate it. I didn’t overthink how my decision would affect my reputation in the school because I knew my worth, my value, and how I show up.

Two hours later, I resigned from the PTA.

When the school asked me to reconsider, I held firm. My peace is non-negotiable. Protecting my mental health and well-being isn’t just self-care—it’s self-love. Quitting doesn’t mean I’m not strong enough to handle conflict. It means I’m strong enough to walk away from what doesn’t serve me.

The Power of Growth

just about big milestones—it’s about the quiet moments when you choose differently than you would’ve in the past.

• I chose to respond instead of react.
• I chose boundaries over people-pleasing.
• I chose myself over disrespect.

As I reflected on this, I realized how much the work I’ve done—through therapy, coaching, and self-reflection—has transformed my life. It reminded me that God places challenges in our path not to break us, but to show us how much we’ve grown.

What I’ve Learned

1. Your Worth Is Non-Negotiable
   You don’t need to prove your value to anyone. Respect yourself enough to walk away from those who don’t see it.
2. Boundaries Are a Form of Love
   Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s a way to protect your peace and create space for what truly matters.

Growth Is a Choice
The power to respond versus react lies in the small, intentional choices you make every day.

A Message for You

If you’re on your own journey of growth, I want you to know that it’s possible to break old patterns and create a life that serves you. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths, but the rewards are worth it.

Remember: Choosing yourself isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength.

If you’d like support on your journey—whether it’s through career transitions, setting boundaries, or creating action plans that honor your values—I’m here to help.

Schedule a Free Exploratory Session Here

With gratitude,
Sharilyn