I stayed home with my son for the first year after he was born. Not because I planned to, but because I was terrified—terrified of going back to work and bringing COVID home to him.

It was 2020. The world felt uncertain, and like many new parents, we were navigating uncharted waters. We didn’t have much support from family because the fear of getting our baby sick outweighed the need for help. And while I don’t regret our caution, looking back, I realize that the isolation may not have been worth the toll it took on me. I struggled with postpartum depression, though at the time, I didn’t fully understand what was happening.

But amidst the challenges, there was joy. Being home with our newborn, experiencing every first moment, every coo, every sleepy snuggle—those moments were magical. There were no rushed mornings, no scrambling for daycare drop-offs, no missed milestones. It was just us, learning each other, building our own little world.

The Moment I Knew I Couldn’t Go Back

By the time my maternity leave was nearing its end, reality started setting in. I had spent nearly 17 years in the restaurant industry, working my way up from the bottom to becoming a General Manager. I thrived in that environment—long days, fast pace, problem-solving on the fly. But the idea of going back? It felt impossible.

The long shifts, the constant social interaction, the commute from Brooklyn to Tribeca—it all felt unbearable. I was still nursing and couldn’t fathom the stress of pumping during a busy restaurant shift. And the thought of hiring childcare? It sent me into a spiral of guilt. I wasn’t ready to leave my son for 12+ hours a day.

But I was also struggling with another fear—the fear of being left behind. Would people think I took too much time off? That I wouldn’t be as sharp? That I was starting over?

We made the decision that I would stay home until my son turned one. And as that milestone approached, I started feeling the itch. I missed using my brain the way I used to. I wanted to work again. But I knew I couldn’t go back to the same career. And that realization was heartbreaking. I had spent years building a career I was proud of, and it felt like I was throwing it all away.

I was torn—between staying home and missing those moments, between going back and feeling like a stranger in my own industry, between fearing judgment and knowing deep down I needed something different.

Redefining Success on My Terms

I was lucky to have a strong support system. A good friend and mentor, a working mom of two, helped me reframe my perspective. She reminded me of my strengths, helped me see my experience in a new light, and shared her own journey of navigating career transitions.

I also had a therapist who was a coach, and together, we started exploring what I really wanted—not just what I thought I should do. That’s when I realized the problem wasn’t that I didn’t have skills or experience. The problem was that I was trying to fit myself into a role instead of finding a role that fit me.

I listed out my dealbreakers:
✅ I wanted to be done at 5 PM at least four out of five nights.
✅ I didn’t want to have to pump—I wanted to continue nursing.
✅ I needed an income, but I wasn’t chasing a salary—I was chasing alignment.
✅ I wanted to keep learning and contributing my expertise, even if that meant taking an entry-level role in a new industry.

That’s how I landed at Toast POS as an Outside Territory Account Executive in restaurant tech. It was a new world but still connected to what I knew—restaurants, operations, and business strategy. Even during the interview, my hiring manager asked why I hadn’t applied for a leadership position. My answer? Because even the best leaders should know how to wash the dishes, take orders, and fire a few plates in the kitchen. You respect your colleagues more. You understand business better. And, well… people call out, and sometimes you need to step in and get things done.

Yes, I wanted to be in leadership again. But I also knew I needed time—to adjust, to learn, to find my footing in a new industry and as a new mom. And when I was ready? I took the leadership leap. But that’s a story for another time.

If You’re in a Season of Change…

I know how scary it feels to step into the unknown. To question if you’re making the right choice. To wonder, What will people think?

But here’s what I’ve learned: success isn’t about following a linear path. It’s about choosing what aligns with your life in the season you’re in. And that choice? It’s yours.

If you’re navigating a transition—whether it’s a career shift, a return to work, or stepping into something new—I’d love to support you. I have a few 1:1 coaching spots open this month and would love to help you make your next move with clarity and confidence.

Leave a comment if this resonates. You don’t have to figure it all out alone.